The life of a lost dreamer

Long time, no post

2009-10-10T20:01:00.005+01:00

Apologies that I haven't been updating recently. I'm not gonna lie, its because I couldn't find it in me to get my brain working and write something worthy. I'm gonna try my damn hardest to update more regularly from now on.

So, Halloween is getting close. Anyone dressing up this year? My friend is throwing a party which gives me an excuse to dress up in something crazy. At first, I wanted to be Alice in Wonderland. However, all the costumes I looked at on the Internet were screaming 'SLUT!'. Seriously, is it really such an effort to put on a little bit of extra material?! There's no way I'm turning up to a party looking like I've just had sexy time role play. So I am now either gonna go as a pirate or a zombie bride. I can't really decide which one though. Here are the pictures...

The bride dress is long but if I get it, I'll cut it up so its short. I'm thinking my aim is to make it look a bit like the emergency dress?

I really hope it turns out okay. I don't really want to spend a lot of money.

It was nice knowing you all.

2009-09-03T20:15:00.003+01:00

Sorry guys and gals for not updating recently. I'm not gonna lie, I was too lazy to write anything lengthy so I thought I would just leave it until I have something worthy to write about.

I'm back at the hell hole some people may call school. In my opinion, Friday is such a dumb day to go back. We might as well get an extra day off and then go back on Monday. I just really don't see the point. I'm kinda hoping I get the same timetable as last year just so that I don't need to learn it. I'm gonna try my very best this year to be confident and open to everyone. I really need to get some new friends. I've been with the same small group for far too long and I just need some new people to hang out with! Obviously, I would never abandon my existing friends. I just think it would be nice to get to know others a bit more. I'm going into year 11 this year which is going to be a toughie for sure. I've taken a couple of GCSE's early but I'm pretty certain I might retake science. If I don't get an F, I'll be very shocked. I'm in a pretty high set but my exam results can be really shocking at times. I pretty much forget everything as soon as I've finished learning it. *sigh* I really hope tomorrow isn't full of fail. It doesn't help the fact that I have a counselling appointment straight after. This means I have to get on a crowded bus full of loud idiotic retards (not literally retards of course. That would just be mean.) and then go to a place which I don't even know the way to. How terrific. I think I might die tomorrow.

My friend Rach (happy belated birthday if you're reading this) is having a fancy dress party this year for her birthday get together. At first, I had no idea what I could go as especially as it's only next week. But after chatting on the phone with Serra (my best friend who I love very very much) we decided that we wanted to do a joint costume. So in the end we decided to go as cave women. Hopefully this Saturday we're gonna take a trip to either Oprington or Bromley so we can search for a fabric store to buy some leopard print stuff and fur (Yes, we're hand making our costumes. We're THAT cool). I doubt I will be contributing much to the actual making of the costumes as sewing isn't exactly my forte but I shall definitely be there to advise her and help with the less important things. These costumes better look good. That reminds me, I need to search for a inflatable club online so we can go around and hit people with them. Haha..

I wrote a couple of versus to a song/poem the other day. It's not finished yet but I thought I'd post what I have so far.

I'm looking at the wilted flower
curled up on the ground.
she ain't so radiant. No not anymore.
the water is rising, slowly drowning
any satisfaction she might have owned.

Crowds gather and mutter under their breath.
What a state she is. What a shame.
the rain is washing away the dirt on her hands.
she glares up at them, a look they'll never forget.
her eyes are saying do you really care?

Oooh I forgot, I haven't posted the one I wrote a few weeks ago either. I'm quite proud of this one actually. Here it is:

I wander down the street I thought I had forgotten.
The chalk marks are fading
just like the memory of your once friendly face.
The old days must be here,
but hiding in the cracks in the pavements.

Dust gathers in those corners,
its such a shame.
A shame that the sun refuses to meet the eyes of tattered pasts.
they're locked away in the shadows.

You drove too fast.
You changed our lives.
the life I do not recognize anymore.
The cars will crash.
the debris will rest.
And all will be soon forgotten.

If there's prize for rotten judgement, I guess I've already won that.

2009-08-22T17:02:00.002+01:00

I've been having a lack of inspiration for my blog entries recently. It most probably because I haven't been doing anything interesting in my spare time. If I'm honest, I would rather stay at home than go out. I've always been like that and sometimes I think that its a bad thing. If people don't like me because of it, screw them.

I've been completely obsessed with Disney recently. I've watched 3 Disney movies in the past week and it's really amazing how they can lift up your mood. I've only been able to watch them on YouTube sadly though, cause I don't have a video player anymore and I don't have any Disney movies on DVD. The first one I watched was the Little Mermaid. This has got to be my favorite Disney movie out of all of them. It's just sooo adorable and the music is pretty awesome too. I heard that there's a Broadway version of it in NYC. I really wanna see it. I can't imagine what it would look like though. The second movie I watched was Beauty and the Beast. You really can't beat this film. I mean, a talking candlestick?! How much better can it get? The last movie I watched was Hercules. I've had 'I won't say I'm in love' in my head for days! But you know what? I actually don't care. The trash that has taken over (for example High School Musical and Hannah Montanna) has completely ruined Disney. It all used to be about princes and princesses with feel good sing along music. But now, it's just unbelievably shite! I really wish they would make classic Disney films again like they did when I was younger. I don't think I'll ever grow out of it. I would say the only downside is that it gives you false hope. I think I saw on an avatar once, 'Someone should sue Disney for making every girl think she has a prince charming'. I couldn't agree more with that statement. *sigh* If only life was like a Disney movie.

If anyone reading this thinks I'm really pathetic and babyish for loving good ol' classic Disney movies, GET BENT!

Fooking hell....

2009-08-21T16:28:00.002+01:00

There are no words to describe how gutted I am right now. A couple of days ago I found out that paramore are playing a one off show in September so naturally I asked Rach (the best friend) if she wanted to come. Of course, she said yes and we got ourselves really excited. Tickets came out at 9:00AM today so got my dad to go on the various ticket websites and my mum to ring up the venue. THEY FUCKING SOLD OUT! Literally, it was after a couple of minutes. I really wasn't expecting not to get a ticket. The gig was 'intimate' as well which made me think that there was a small chance that I could get to meet them. Of course, that isn't going to happen anymore. Which pisses me off more is that people who don't even like the band are selling them on ebay for 8o quid. The tickets were only a fiver to begin with. Fucking twats.

FML

Oh dear....

2009-08-19T18:38:00.002+01:00

I'm so sorry there hasn't been an update for a while. Actually, I'm sure that most of you don't care considering no one even comments (meh) but I was visiting my grandparents for a few days and never really got the chance to come online. Luckily, I'm now back which means I will be writing a lot more.

I headed into London on Monday with my parents to watch The Woman in Black. Now plays aren't usually my thing (especially the ones that don't have any music), but I was actually pleasantly surprised. Here's the plot for y'all.

Eel Marsh House stands tall, gaunt and isolated, surveying the endless flat salt marshes beyond the Nine Lives Causeway, somewhere on England's bleak East Coast. Here Mrs Alice Drablow lived - and died - alone. Young Arthur Kipps, a junior solicitor, is ordered by his firm's senior partner to travel up from London to attend her funeral and then sort out all her papers. His task is a lonely one, and at first Kipps is quite unaware of the tragic secrets which lie behind the house's shuttered windows. He only has a terrible sense of unease. And then, he glimpses a young woman with a wasted face, dressed all in black, at the back of the church during Mrs Drablow's funeral, and later, in the graveyard to one side of Eel Marsh House. Who is she? Why is she there? He asks questions, but the locals not only cannot or will not give him answers - they refuse to talk about the woman in black, or even to acknowledge her existence, at all. So, Arthur Kipps has to wait until he sees her again, and she slowly reveals her identity to him - and her terrible purpose.

The Woman In Black treads in the footsteps of the classic ghost story, following the tradition of Charles Dickens and M.R James, of Henry James and Edith Wharton. It is not a horror story or a tale of terror, yet the events build up to a horrifying climax and instil a sense of horror. It relies on atmosphere, a vivid sense of place, on hints and glimpses and suggestions, on what is shadowy, heard and sometimes only half-seen, to chill the reader's blood to the marrow and make reading the book alone at night inadvisable for the faint-hearted.

The theatre was really small but I think that added to the intimacy effect. It really felt like you were part of the story. Lets just say, that I found hard to sleep that night. I would definitely recommend it.

I'm gonna leave it there, my fingers are tired, haha.
Laters.

Hair dye, 2 weeks of hell and feeling rejected.

2009-08-08T18:15:00.002+01:00

Bonjour!

Well well well, I'll be honest, I haven't really got a lot of juicy stuff to put in this next entry. I guess holidays aren't too good for my social life. I end up getting up at midday and spending the day watching TV or on the computer. Meh...I should probably do some exercise.

I've been planning on dying my hair for quite a long time now but at the same time I've been avoiding it. I am so paranoid about getting an allergic reaction to the dye. I mean, I've seen all these horrible stories in the newspaper about people nearly dying because they've coloured their hair and I just wouldn't know whether to take the risk or not. However, I brought some washout dye today and hopefully I'll colour it sometime this week. If I don't post within the next few days, you'll know that I'm dead.

Speaking of this week (and the next in fact) my parents have their holiday from work. This means there will be non stop nagging, and annoyance. It is obviously going to be the best two weeks of my life! Not. I don't mind spending time with them but I much prefer being home alone. That way, you can play music as loud as you want and walk around naked (not that I would do that of course XD ).

You know what? Friends really piss me off. One in particular (not mentioning names) is seriously getting on my titties. She keeps 'forgetting' to invite me to things. How the hell can you forget to invite one of your best friends who you have known for other ten years?! From what I can remember, I haven't done anything to upset her at all! Meh, I really don't know why I bother.

Anyway dudes and dudettes I'm gonna leave it there.
Laters xxx

Simming it.

2009-08-05T19:21:00.004+01:00

Yo dudes,

Well today was very productive, not. I spent the day with Rach playing the Sims 3 (she hasn't got it yet and she was dying to play it). The game is strangely addicting. I love to make up little stories in my head and making my sims play along with it. Y'know I really suck at making guy sims. They either look like girls or they look really podgy and fugly. I can never get them to look 'attractive'. Meh, never mind eh? We made simselves and after we made Josh and Zac Farro (yum) to be our boyfriends. How sad are we?

I'm going to do a little feature every couple of weeks or so. Basically, I'm gonna put my current favorite song. Soooo here's current favorite song number one!

Growing Old- Parade the Day
The light from the east coast
off your eyes screams please don't go,
cause I can't do this alone
And tonight, as I leave notes
on the side, of your bed post
they all shows signs of hope and you say....

Sing to me slowly the words that you wrote me
each line racing through your mind
will you wait for me, after I fall asleep?

So lets live in this day I know your dying to say it
lets just live in this moment and pretend like we own it
we will all grow older, but with you here I'll die slower

Sing to me slowly the words that you wrote me
each line racing through your mind
will you wait for me, after I fall asleep?

We will all grow older but with you here I'll die slower

Marry me on this boat tied to a rope in the ocean. So far out to sea no one will ever find us where we're going. Lets toast to the great unknown, fingerprints mark where we grew old. As I write to you knowing these notes won't find where were going

Listen to growing old HERE!

Later dudes xxx

My latest obsession...

2009-08-04T18:35:00.002+01:00

Three posts in one day?! I'm such a little devil!

Alright, I'm gonna bring out my inner geek and share with you my current obsession. It's actually a series of books by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast called The House of Night. People have compared it to Twilight, but I honestly think that they are nothing alike. I'm gonna go ahead and write the blurb of the first book in the series so you have a rough idea as to what it is all about.

After she is Marked, 16-year-old Zoey Redbird enters the House of Night and learns that she is no average fledgling. She has been Marked as special by the vampyre Goddess Nyx. But she is not the only fledgling at the House of Night with special powers. When she discovers that the leader of the Dark Daughters, the school's most elite club, is mis-using her Goddess-given gifts, Zoey must look deep within herself for the courage to embrace her destiny— with a little help from her new vampyre friends.

I'm going to be honest, that little description doesn't do the book justice. It is so much better as you are reading it. There are also 5 more books in the series with many more to come! I have also heard that there are rumours going around the ol' tinternet that they might be made into a TV show or movie. If that's true, then I'm utterly stoked! I think the average target audience age is 16, so I would really recommend it. Both me and my best friend Rach are reading it and we are both hooked!

See the official site for the House of night series HERE

Random survey

2009-08-04T14:35:00.000+01:00

75 Questions You've Probably Never...

TAKE THIS SURVEY!

Take this survey

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
Legs

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
Black

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Dunnoooo

4.Do you plan outfits?
Sometimes. It depends how much time I'm gonna have in the morning.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
Slightly tired.

6. Whats the closest thing to you thats red?
There's actually nothing red in this room haha

7. Do you say aim or a-i-m?
why is that even important?!

8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
I was making out with some stranger 0__o

9. Did you meet anybody new today?
Nope

10. What are you craving right now?
Hmm, I really fancy some raspberries.

11. Do you floss?
No. I should though.

12. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Gross

13. When was the last time you talked on aim?
I don't use aim, I use MSN betch.

14. Are you emotional?
I suposse. I mean, if I wanna cry, I'll cry.

15. Would you dance to the taco song?
Uhmm....

16. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
No, why would I wanna do that?

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
Both!

18. Do you like your hair?
No, it's impossible.

19. Do you like yourself?
Meh, not really. I don't hate myself though.

20. Have you ever met a celebrity?
I met someone from a tv show but she ain't that famous tbh.

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
Yeah sure.

22. What are you listening to right now?
the tv. It's an E4 advert.

23. How many countries have you visited?
Including England, 5 I think?

24. Are your parents strict?
When they wanna be.

25. Would you go sky diving?
Maybe =)

26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Urrr no?

27. Would you throw potatoes at him?
Now THAT I would do.

28. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in?
Nope

29. Have you ever been in a castle?
Yeah, tudor castle and Rochester castle

30. Do you rent movies often?
Yeah quite a lot actually.

31. Who sits in behind you in your math class?
Urrrr....omg I actually can't remember

32. Have you made a prank phone call?
No but I know a lot of people who have.

33. Do you own a gun?
no haha

34. Can you count backwards from 74?
well yeah, but I don't know why anyone would wanna do that XD

35. Who are you going to be with tonight?
my parents

36. Brown or white eggs?
I really don't care

37. Do you own something from Hot Topic?
No, they really should open a store in the UK though.

38. Ever been on a train?
Yeah all the time.

39. Ever been in love?
Nope

40. Do you have a cell-phone?
Yeah

41. Are you too forgiving?
Nope. I don't forgive and forget.

42. Do you use chap stick?
Yesh

43. What is your best friend doing tomorrow?
seeing me actually!

44. Can you use chop sticks?
I try, but it's kinda impossible. XD

45. Ever have cream puffs?
Huh?

46. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
No

47. What was the last question you asked?
Can't remember

48. What was the last CD you bought?
I preordered Brand New Eyes by paramore

49. Boys or girls?
To date? Boys.

50. What is your bus number for school?
I don't take the bus to school.

51. Is your hair curly?
More wavy

52. Last time you cried?
a few days ago

53. Ever walked into a wall?
yeah probably

54. Do looks matter?
Sadly yes, but they aren't everything.

55. Have you ever bought anything from Pac Sun?
nopee

56. Have you ever slapped someone?
yeah haha

57. Favorite time of the year?
Christmas! Everyone seems really happy.

58. Favorite color?
Green

59. Are you sarcastic?
Yeah quite a lot

60. Do you have any tattoos?
no, I wanna get one when I'm older though.

61. The last person you held hands with?
Uhmm...can't remember XD

62. Do you sleep with the TV on?
No, I don't have a tv in my room.

63. Where was your default picture taken at?
in my room

64. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
yes

65. Do you like your life right now?
not really

66. How often do you talk on the phone?
not too often.

67. What is your favorite animal?
Cats

68. What was the most recent thing you bought?
a dress

69. Do you have good vision?
I wear glasses, but I can see without them

70. Can you hula hoop?
yeeeh!

71. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
yeah but I wouldn't EVER forget

72. Do you have a job?
no

73. Can you handle the truth?
not really. The truth hurts

74. What are you wearing?
pj bottoms and a spongebob top

75. Have you ever crawled through a window?
no lol

CLICK HERE TO TAKE THIS SURVEY!

MySpace Surveys

Missing report card, lazy days and long distance friends.

2009-08-04T12:33:00.003+01:00

Hey guys,

I didn't get up until 11:00 today. Man, I'm so tired recently, I don't know whats wrong with me! I was tossing and turning all night and it didn't help that my cat kept climbing on me. Don't you just hate it when its feels almost impossible to go to sleep even though you're really tired?

Arghh, my school is really pissing me off at the moment. Unlike any other my class, my class didn't recieve out report cards on the last day before the summer holidays. We were promised that they would get posted the very next day. Pftt, next day my ass! I'm now three weeks into the summer holidays and it still hasn't arrived. What a piss take.

Talking of holidays, mine is so dull! I guess life is what I make of it but how am I supossed to do things when a lot of my friends are on holiday abroad and when my parents are at work?! Don't get me wrong, I love sitting at home being lazy and lets face it, I really need it after the past year at school. I just need a bit of variety. I would really love to hang out with my best friend Serra but she's in Turkey for the WHOLE of summer. She goes every single school holiday because she has family living there so I never get to see her. To be honest, I think her parents are really selfish to whisk her away to another country all the time cause she just never gets any freedom! Her mum even insists on giving us a lift everwhere even if it's only a few streets away. I mean, she's so protective and she just doesn't let Serra have any fun. A few weeks ago, me and a few friends went to Thorpe park for the day and she wouldn't let her go because there wasn't an adult going with us. Bloody hell, we're 15, not 5!

I've just realised, it's been abosutley forever since I went to the cinema! Thank to love film, I've been watching everything at home and it just gets pretty dull. I don't really think there's anything decent on at the moment. I'll just wait until there's something on that I actually really wanna watch.

Well people, I'm gonna leave it there for now. I may update later, it all depends on my mood.
Becca

Not to fear, Becca is here!

2009-08-03T19:00:00.004+01:00

Hello all!

I've attempted to make a blog many a time before and have swiftly given up because of laziness, lack of inspiration or even forgetfulness. However, this time I'm gonna try my best to stick to it and not give up! Also, I find it rather interesting to read back my old entries. I seem to forget a lot of the little less important things that have happened in my life.

So for my first entry, I should probably tell you about myself. Well, to be honest, I'm your average teenage girl. I'm not perfect and I'm not always the nicest person to be around. I'd say I pretty shy actually. I only really have proper conversations with my best friends (who I love dearly) and with people I meet online. However, once I make a friend, I will do whatever it takes to keep that friendship strong. I've also never been in a relationship. Unlike some people, I don't see that as a horrible thing. There's no way in hell that I'm gonna get a boyfriend just because everyone else has one (I'll have you know, I'm no sheep) and I'd rather wait until I find someone I actually care about.

In my spare time, I usually hang out with friends or talk to them online. I've been playing piano for about 7 years, however I would exactly call myself Mozart. About half a year ago, I started to teach myself guitar (with a little help from my best friend Serra). I'm still very rusty but hopefully if I keep practising, things will improve. I used to be a singer as a little kid (I won a couple of singing competitions in my time) but as I've got older I've become kinda stage shy. I don't even let my family hear me sing and I'll only practise when there's no one at home.

Anyways, I'm gonna leave it there kiddos. I'll update a little later.

Keep smiling,
Becca